Sunday, April 14, 2013

What Happened To My... Um... oh, yeah... Brain?

I realized yesterday, as I was struggling to recollect the names of people I'd just met, that my brain is not what it used to be.  In the past I could easily remember names, places, and numerous random details, seemingly plucked out of nowhere the second I needed them.  Sure, some of this slowing of synapses can be attributed to my inevitable push toward middle age.  But what about the rest of my confusion and declining mental abilities?  I've come to terms with the fact that my brain has been overrun with useless boy knowledge.

I grew up with brothers and a mom who loved watching various sports, so I'm no stranger to player stats, rules, strategies and standings. I just never realized I would unwittingly absorb all of that information, thus replacing other necessary, useful knowledge in the process.  I didn't need to worry about whether the Giants would keep Pagan and Scutaro.  And now I find myself easily making hieroglyphic markings in the baseball score book while simultaneously carrying on a conversation with friends.  But  I can't remember the main character's name in the book I'm reading right now or the color of the foundation I always purchase.  For Easter I literally had to Google how to hard boil eggs because I couldn't remember how long to cook them.  But I can still name off all the members of the Justice League, thank you very much.

I blame George Lucas for much of my mental fog.  Really, how can boys watch all of the Star Wars movies over and over?  And then they want to talk to me about all of the details and discuss great philosophical questions that arise during each viewing.  "How do the Tauntauns find enough food on Hoth to get that fat?"  I never thought I'd need to reserve gray matter for this kind of stuff:
  • cataloging all of the planets within the Trade Federation
  •  names of random Ewoks
  • General Palpatine's character arc (man, does he need some facial moisturizer)
  • every droid that ever was
  • and any weapon the Galactic Empire could create that would miraculously destroy Jar Jar Binks.
Last year my boys started playing rugby and lacrosse, both sports I'd never even watched before.  Slowly, the terms "scrum", "middie", "ruck", "grubber", "poke check" and "crease" have eeked their way into my muddled brain (and those last two do not refer to any naughty stuff if that's where your brain was headed - pervert).  I can't remember the name of the new manicure that will last a long time, or any cute brands of jeans, purses, or shoes I'd like to shop for.  

I'd settle for just retaining some of the information I use in my daily life.  I had to ask my husband, "What's the word for stuff like comma, exclamation point, period?" to which he laughed and answered, "Are you joking?  You mean 'punctuation'?"  Don't make fun! I've heard it happens to other people too... like good old what's-her-name and that other one...

1 comment:

  1. "every droid that ever was" you are too funny! you have made my evenings, keeping up with your blog