Tuesday, April 16, 2013

This one time, in Minecraft...

When's the last time you were around a group of 'tween' boys?  If it was recently, then you know that they begin just about every sentence with, "This one time, in Minecraft...".  This game came out of nowhere to dominate the favored boyhood apps.  You can build entire worlds using various materials, in either creative or survival mode.  And really, that's about where my knowledge of the subject ends, except for the fact that you can install Minecraft on tons of different platforms, causing boys everywhere to beg their parents for more money to play it everywhere they possibly can.

I'm not a big fan of most video games anyway.  (Unless I'm by myself, shakin' it, to achieve a new high score on Just Dance 4, but that's another post).  The graphics on this game are intentionally blocky since you're building with cubes, but I don't get the attraction.  Boys, on the other hand, can't stop talking about it!  It's like a new form of a soap opera to them.  Who's creating what, who's battling where...  Did you ever think you'd hear a sentence like, "He just started and he already defeated the Ender Dragon, and he thought he was done, but he's really not, and he can still play in creative mode". Ugh.

My boys generally sit in two different rooms, excitedly gripping their hand-held devices.  They virtually enter each other's worlds - remember, they aren't in the same real-life vicinity because they're brothers and that would lead to brawls.  Then they proceed to yell to one another across the house:

  • You left the door open and the zombie almost got in!
  • Well, I'm over here trying to build a new house!
  • Where are you?
  • Over here.
  • Where?
  • Turn around and walk straight, stupid; right in front of my biggest fortress.  Never mind.  I'm gonna blow up your house and then disconnect so I don't have to deal with you.
  • No!  I just want to play.  Why are you being so mean? (cue whining and crying)
Really???  You're in completely different rooms and you still manage to anger your brother to the point of tears and screaming?  A slamming door can't be far behind.  Yep, there it is.

There's another aspect of Minecraft that I will never understand: the videos.  It is my understanding that people (generally adult men, as if that's not creepy) create videos with footage from their own creations, often set to music.  My son was so happy that his two recent obsessions were featured in one place - Gangnam Style and dancing cubist pigs.  What the????  If you don't believe me you can Google it, but I'm not putting a link to any of that shit on here.  There's no way I can watch all of these (nor could you ever pay me enough to do so), but it seems that I will need to start policing the iPod.  My 9-year-old asked me last week, after watching some of these, "Mommy, what does it mean when someone calls a boy a 'pimp'?"  Yeeeaaaahhh, I think we're done with the videos.  I responded with a mature, "What's that?  I can't hear you over the monsters that are trying to get into my house.  I'm gonna disconnect now!"

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