Thursday, March 21, 2013

Force Fields

My boys, like many young boys, were naturally drawn to all of the Star Wars movies and superhero adventures.  They learned everything there is to know about these mystical worlds where individuals can wield super powers to control nature and battle evil forces. I believe that somehow they have learned to channel this energy and weave it into our quiet, everyday home life.  How else do you explain the force fields?

As a mother I am unable to see or feel this force field.  It exists only in the realm of boys, but the effects are plain to me.  Take for example: the laundry basket.  It clearly has a force field around it and I can safely say that the dimensions of said barrier extend about 2 feet away from the actual basket itself.  Dirty clothes simply cannot penetrate the bubble and are repelled back out onto the floor surrounding the hamper.  The barrier weakens near female hormones because I am able to pick up clothing from the floor and deposit it into the basket (occasionally with some difficulty to be honest), but it can be done.

Where else are these force fields you may be asking?  (Or not, but keep reading anyway.)  The dishwasher is protected by an invisible shield that is oftentimes impermeable even to the powers of the grown-up boy known as my husband.  Dirty dishes cannot be placed within its confines.  They are simply relegated to the counter directly above the dishwasher, thus indicating that granite must weaken the barrier at some places and allow the dishes to merely come close to their designated place.

Another force field?  It hovers over the toilet.  Need I go on?  I think you get the general idea.

And just recently I've been wondering if there is a small but powerful force field around my boys' heads.  Their hair almost jumps away from my hands when I attempt to comb it down or coerce the strands into an organized direction.  Scissors are repelled like strong magnets of reverse polarity.  There's no hope for a haircut despite all of my attempts.

It is my mission to try to discover how to battle these force fields.  If I make any momentous discoveries I will pass on the valuable information, but don't hold your breath.


  1. LOL, I don't even have kids, but I've learned it all from my husband! :)

  2. I think think this is my Favorite. Just so you know, the force field exists for the juvenile female as well.