Spring has sprung... Just like the button on my jeans

It's February, and in California that means we've weathered one day of rain and can now jump straight into Spring. Need confirmation? Just look at all the beautiful colors around you: grassy green, daffodil yellow, flowering purple lavender, and the red of tulips.

Only I'm not talking about nature, silly.

I'm referring to the beautiful hues on the multiple boxes of Girl Scout Cookies in my pantry. The green of Thin Mints, yellow of Savannah Smiles, purple of Samoas (or Caramel Delites), and red of Peanut Butter Patties. Yes, it's that time of the year. Regardless of what that bastard, Punxsatawney Phil says, girls come out of the woodwork in early spring, preying on our lack of willpower and our desire to support female entrepreneurs. Girl power! Goal-setting! Sense of community! Blah blah... Now give me those damn Do-Si-Dos.

At some point the Girl Scouts employed a marketing genius who bet people would become addicted to these sweet, sugary confections. Someone who said, "But wait, we'll only sell them for a brief time each year to keep up demand! (cue evil laugh)".

It starts out innocently enough. I buy a few boxes from my niece. Good. Done. I'm on a diet, and I don't need these things. Just enough for my husband and boys to sample some over the next few weeks. Right? Sure. Only, soon enough I need my fix. And suddenly I'm addicted. What kind of crack do they bake into those little shortbread cookies? I can't get enough! Must have more!

Next thing I know, I have an empty box and I'm surrounded by flaky crumbs. I don't want my family to know that I've binged on a whole box of Thin Mints, so I must buy another box to replace it. But then they'd know it was a new box. I better eat half to make it look realistic. Eh, why not finish that one off too? Suddenly I'm driving around, desperately looking for little girls in green vests like some kind of pervert. Why are there no tables in front of stores when you really need them? How did my neighbors get rid their giant towers of cookie boxes so quickly? Don't they stockpile, knowing I'll need more before it's even March?!? "Thin Mints" - what a misnomer. Maybe "Big Fatty Mints" would be better. True, sales might be affected.

I'm relieved I don't have a Girl Scout. All those boxes calling to me throughout the day? I'd have to pay for the entire shipment myself and I'd look like Jabba the Hutt. Any daughter of mine would have the highest sales, however! Thank goodness Cub Scouts don't sell cookies. How long do you think a table of nicely-stacked cookie boxes would last with hyper boys running around it, playing tag, possibly using the boxes as footballs? No boys would be calmly carting wagons full of cookies around the neighborhood. The wagons would become go-carts with boys falling out as they careen down a hill. Maybe that's just my boys.

Enjoy your spring, bursting forth with new growth! May it be flowers and not your waist size.